Combo? Oh, yes, let's add bell peppers to the processed meats!
Hawaiian? Are you f&%3ing SERIOUS? An insult to already questionable cuisine.
Margarita? Can you be any more boring?
I could go on, but I don't think I'd be able to stop. Ahem.
You can make this pizza in less time than it takes to order it over the phone from a zitty teenager and wait for some dodgy weirdo to bring it to your door in a box. I use store-bought dough (Trader Joe's for the win) because ain't nobody got time for that!
American Steakhouse Pizza with Red Wine Crust and Garlic Horseradish Sauce
1 pound pizza dough
Red wine (just open a damn bottle already!)
For the sauce:
8 cloves garlic
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons flour
1 cup milk
1/2 pound white cheddar cheese, grated (don't even think of substituting)
2 tablespoons horseradish
3 cups beef, thinly sliced, bite-sized
Red wine (from that bottle you opened, I know you're sipping it while you cook, but save at least 1 1/2 cups for the pizza, you lush)
1 1/2 cups red onion, thinly sliced
2 cups baby spinach leaves
* Put the garlic in a ramekin with olive oil to cover. Cover tightly with foil. Roast at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Drain, reserving the olive oil.
* While the garlic roasts, place beef and 1 cup of the wine in a Ziploc bag. Put it in the fridge to marinate.
* While the garlic roasts, and the meat marinates, roll the pizza dough out onto a floured surface. Let it rise again, about 20 minutes.
* While the dough rises, the garlic roasts, and the meat marinates (it's called EFFICIENCY, people! Learn it!) make the sauce. Melt the butter on medium low heat in a saucepan. Stir in the flour and cook for about 2 minutes, stirring constantly. Sigh. This is a roux and the backbone of any good sauce. Do I really have to tell you how to do this? Anyway, add the milk, stirring to combine completely. Bring to a simmer and add the cheese, stirring until it has melted completely. When the garlic is done roasting, stick it in a garlic press and squeeze it into the sauce. Remove from heat and stir in the horseradish.
* Increase oven temperature to 450 degrees. Put the dough on an oiled pizza stone or large (oiled) baking sheet. Brush liberally with wine. Bake for 10 minutes.
* While the dough par-bakes, prep the toppings: Drain the beef, resisting the urge to drink the meaty wine (what?). Cook the onions in a large skillet with a shot of olive oil for about 5 minutes on high heat, then add the beef (and some salt and pepper to taste), just browning for about 2 minutes. Remove from heat and add the spinach.
* Top the pizza with the sauce and toppings, then bake for an additional 10 minutes or until the sauce is bubbling. Serves 4.