Before music festivals became a thing, causing all women under 30 to don flower crowns and all men of the same age bracket to grow scraggly beards and man-buns, these events were really nothing more than an outdoor concert with a long list of bands and food that came from shady-looking food trucks. Kettle corn, hot dogs, burgers and soft serve were pretty much de rigeur.
We are now in Peak Festival Food.
* Jumping on the kale bandwagon, Juiceland sells Cucumber-Kale Agua Frescas at Austin City Limits. Kale is barely tolerable in a salad - why the fuck would you want to DRINK it? Just so you can tell someone you're drinking kale and thusly upping your coolness factor?
* Another food the 'hip' generation is trying to push into acceptance: brussels sprouts. Look, I guess they're *fine* when you saute them in butter and bacon, but can you imagine voluntarily eating a brussels sprouts SALAD at the Fun Fun Fest? The gas belly ALONE would deter me from this garbage.
* I also saw some ridiculous fruity-pebble-dipped ice cream being served at another festival, which begged the question: are you only eating this to accompany the shrooms and/or MDMA while you trip out to EDM?
None of this is slutty. It's stunt food designed for Instagram.
This weekend, I will be attending Bottlerock in the tourist-packed Napa Valley, now augmented by an influx of hipsters anxious to see these people. The interesting thing about a music festival in a locale known for its food and wine is that you'll get trucks serving finer cuisine to be paired with wine (yes, there's an entire wine section at this thing) instead of the stunt food being served at the other festivals. Here's the full list, but I can tell you right now I've been impressed with offerings from Bouchon Bakery's ham and cheese baguettes, and Mark's the Spot's Oooh Girl Fried Chicken Sliders in years past. Slutty, yet more refined, and all about the flavor.
Keep an eye on the Facebook feed as I'll be posting whatever takes a dive into my mouth hole this weekend.