You scroll through your Facebook feed and suddenly halt, mesmerized by one of those ubiquitous "Tasty" videos from Buzzfeed. It's like crack, watching disembodied hands stirring cheese whiz and margarine into a bowl of crumbled Doritos only to pipe the goop into muffin tins and somehow yield a kid-friendly dish for dinner. Then you hit 'share' because it seems fun at the time, though you never actually make this dish and you continue on with perusing a feed filled with political rants, overzealous sports fans, nonsensical memes and celebrity trash. But now the video is on YOUR feed and your friends watch the video. And THEY share it. And so on.
Or, it's on Pinterest, where zombie-mommies push their crafts that don't actually work in real life, misuse of mason jars and recipes that should not exist according to laws of physics. But you pin them anyway, because they seem popular and they will by association make your pin-board or whatever more popular, then someone who follows you does the same and it becomes a round-robin of uselessness that perpetuates a myth of culinary innovation and perfection.
Here's a prime offender:
And NONE of you will ever make it. Not just because it looks ridiculous and who would want to eat something like that anyway, but because nobody cooks anymore.
Food has become a spectator sport, where the flashy 1-minute videos featuring stunt food have overtaken lengthier, almost leisurely instructional shows on The Cooking Channel and/or Food Network, though the latter is now mostly staged competitions.
You just keep watching these videos and staring at these photos, mesmerized by the seeming simplicity of it all, lulled by the comfort ingredients that can be found at any well-stocked gas station. You think to yourself, "Self, this could be THE dish for the next time I'm sitting around with a group of Midwesterners and one of them hands me a fat blunt." And then you hit 'share' or 'pin' and the proliferation of bullshit continues. And it's your fault.